top of page
Search

An Accidental Abortion

  • Writer: Cheryl Long
    Cheryl Long
  • Aug 9, 2019
  • 3 min read

As the elderly doctor read my rather lengthy obstetrical history, he paused and looked at me condescendingly over thick-rimmed glasses. "There is no such thing as an 'accidental abortion'. You either terminate a pregnancy, or you don't." He waited for my response.


* * *

Along with the usual pregnancy symptoms, my left side ached terribly. I was a divorced, single mom, working part-time at a pizza place with no insurance, involved in a secret affair with the restaurant manager. The year was 1987 and pregnancy tests were relatively expensive, so I made the mistake of visiting the local Planned Parenthood for a "free test".


As soon as I finished giving them a urine sample, I was taken to a small office and for the next hour or so, was questioned and harassed about my situation. The things the two "counselors" stated were true; I wasn't married, I couldn't really afford another baby, and the situation did seem hopeless.


They wanted me to agree to an abortion even before the test results were in!


I just wanted to leave, not caring at that point whether there was one line or two.


Another woman entered the room and explained that though the test was positive, it had taken longer than usual to "show up". Considering the pain in my side, they concluded that I was most likely experiencing a dangerous condition known as ectopic pregnancy and an appointment was quickly set with a local OB. Satisfied that the pregnancy would be terminated, they finally let me go. I was just thankful to escape that place of death and the women who oozed hatred toward babies.


The middle-aged obstetrician explained that an ectopic pregnancy is when the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, in this case in my fallopian tube. As it grows, the tube is stretched, thus causing the pain. If the tube were to burst, I was told soberly, I could die. The only solution was to have the tube, including the baby, surgically removed.


The doctor asked many questions before he examined me. Did I have insurance? Was I married? How did I plan to pay the bill for this expensive surgery? Because I didn't have insurance, he didn't order an ultrasound. After being badgered at Planned Parenthood and listening to this doctor's concern over how he would be paid, I felt I had no right to ask for further tests. I left his office in tears.


The next morning when he stopped by before surgery to speak with me, I asked, or rather pleaded, if there was any other way. "Can't you just move the baby down?" My heart was breaking for a child I would never know.


I was put under for the procedure, but as I awoke in the recovery room, there was more pain than I had expected. The OB appeared by my side and spoke softly and apologetically. He explained that the searing pain had been caused by a large cyst sitting on my ovary. "Your left ovary was removed because of the large cyst. This decreases your chances of getting pregnant by 50%." It wasn't an ectopic pregnancy after all! "What about the baby?" I asked, still groggy yet hopeful. He explained that a D and C had been performed before the cyst had been discovered. My precious little baby had been aborted; ripped apart and discarded.


* * * 

"So, what would you call it?" I asked the doctor, with tears glistening in my eyes. He cleared his throat, looking away, and hoarsely whispered, "An accidental abortion."


*As a side note here, I'd like to add that though I contracted pneumonia during my recovery and wound up hospitalized for 5 days, I never received one bill from the hospital, the anesthesiologist or the doctor. The obstetrical group was at that time involved in a lawsuit, accused of accidentally aborting the baby of a 40-something year old woman, without as much as a pregnancy test. They probably figured that a large hospital/doctor bill would invoke another lawsuit.


I wouldn't have sued because I knew it would change nothing; it would not bring my baby back.


In memory of my precious baby who has never been forgotten. You are one of my "Treasures in heaven" and I look forward to the day when Mommy will hold you in my arms and tell you how very sorry I am that I didn't fight for you.



 
 
 

Comments


© 2019 Cheryl Long. Proudly created with Wix.com

bottom of page